Journey to Yokosuka


3 days ago on August 17th I've returned from a magical journey on Japan...I went there for various reasons, the main one...I wanted to reach HIDEKI by all means and in all the ways I could. I booked a host in Yokosuka at Mr Shimizu Katsuyoshi (you can find it here in Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/shimizu.katsuyoshi.7?fref=ts ) who lives in Yokosuka Chuo...As if the destiny itself pushed me to choose my host there is something funny of how I reached to do that...I was searching on Airbnb a host for Yokosuka and was very picky to choose...I looked at HIDEKI's ring on my finger

and suddenly the name of my host to be stroke me...Katsu...on Airbnb he appears as https://www.airbnb.co.uk/users/show/6168617 , It didn't lured me the excellent location but his name...yes his name, you heard me...here it is his listing https://www.airbnb.co.uk/rooms/11043197 .
On my favorite ring was written HIDE X KASUH...

his name is Katsu...close enough ha ??? I instantly felt this was not coincidence but a sign...from Nii-san, and I was right! Mr. Katsuyoshi lives in Yokosuka Chuo litteraly 5-10 minutes away walking from HIDEKI's parents home, and primary school Tado Es is basically round the corner...I had no idea of all that till I arrived.My host not only that went with me till HIDEKI's grave (walking in the sun for my sake from Miurakaigan till Miurareign cause I insisted walking from train station till HIDE's grave) but he also provided me detailed diagrams with train stops, platforms and which lines I need to take from where to where, so I will not miss anything related with HIDEKI in Yokosuka and surroundings...so thank to him, I spend 4 wonderful days with Nii-san. The first day I went I had no flowers, no incense...I forgot home the gifts and was on my way to see HIZAKI at his cheki event in Kawasaki at the Tower Records store

I was so happy and overcome by something growing faster and louder than anything in my heart that I couldn't think straight...I felt welcome and...belonging...the smell of scent, the silence...the air itself. I put down the chain of his grave entrance ignoring the fact everyone looked at me as if I do something not allowed...I did not care what they think anyway, I was there for Nii-san not for any of them regardless of who they were, and how "family" or "friends" they once were to HIDE...after few minutes I turned my face away in tears...I didn't want any of them see me crying...didn't want to make Nii-san sad either...I left broken heart-ed but told myself I will go back "Tomorrow"...and so it was..."tomorrow" after "Tomorrow" in all the days who followed since then, until I left Japan on 16th Aug 2016 .

 In the 2nd day I went, I left on his grave my heart...because there...he will always be remember like an elder brother much loved and respected...like someone you'd fight all day, even till punches and hard under belt blows...but with whom you'd make peace at once because ties are too strong,

stronger that anything would ever separate you...it is that what I feel related of HIDE...he is not a faded idol, he's family in all aspects.I told Nii-san of how good this blog build in his honor is going, and that so many of you are interested to know more about his releases (I asked him for team work, so we can together reach to as many of your hearts we can, if you read the posts of this blog...means our team works good so far :) ) and I left, to return next morning...

In the 3rd day I brought him my lucky fancy glasses, I sometimes dream about HIDEKI, he comes in my dreams and we talk till morning...I wake up smiling cause he is dead funny, almost every time he brings me something to eat...and smokes way too much, we talk lot about lots of things...I know is just imaginary but is better than any reality you could live...LOL.

It turns out a night before I dreamed he came to me and seat on the edge of my bed, (I woke up in my dream and he was there smiling) he seem in the mode of "going out" so I followed him in a long walk on Yokosuka Pier, he was amused about those glasses keep playing with the while we seat like punks in the park with feet on benches, we laugh and talk a bunch of nothings...when morning came I wake up in Yokosuka's park near Yokosuka, Yokosuka train station...YES I'M SLEEP WALKING...had no clue how I reached there but it took me a while to get back Yokosuka Chuo...for me is natural to wake up in strange places, I'm sleep walking since being very young...most of times I don't Remember what I'm doing there, and I can never know the reason I stood up from bed to go there...surprisingly I NEVER GET HURT...OR CRUSHED BY CAR, Thank GOD !

 And since he play with those glasses and like them so, I decided that he should have them, so I left them hang on his Flowers...also there is something weird related with this flowers...it seems that something oily and nice scented is dripping from the left bunch right above the place I hang my lucky glasses, as you can see in the picture that Hydrangea flower looks wet...well is not water,is oily as I said...I stay with him till late, in all this time more than 20 of his fans appeared to his grave and I gave them incense so they can pay respects to Nii-san. It felt good doing that, I know he'd like that we would be nice to each-other.

That is the main reason why I returned in the 4th day...I am aware that more and more young fans want to reach out to HIDE, and to know more about him, his music...his way...

Therefor wishing to help those fans reach Nii-san and backwards, I have collected their messages from the group I made to help Nii-san's fans, trough the post I left on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/1553856868250441/
regarding this matter...

few people left in private message few words for him, so I was more than glad to have a pretext to return in Miurareign at his grave...

The messages from fans were delivered successfully in the small mail box with Angel on top...since I was going there few days in a row I've noticed something disturbing but hilarious in same time...In 1st day a girl from Thailand brought a bottle of red wine and placed it behind the little tomb stone where you burn the incense...there was another bottle of whisky and a Vodka one (all full and unopened obviously) , when I return 2nd day none of them was there...LOL...that wasn't HIDE!!! he would love better a Shandygap seriously !!!...I guess a "fan" did it...than 3rd day...behind same grave stone where you burn incense there is an glass astre and small plate containing HIDE's guitar picks...the ones he actually used in concerts...you can see the usage because on edges they are so thin and sharp as knifes...POLITE NOTE...EVEN IF YOU HAVE CURIOSITY OF TOUCHING, HOLDING THEM IN YOUR HANDS...PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE...DO NOT TAKE THEM HOME...those are NII-san's if desperate of owning one, please ask me so, I have "few" and will be glad offering one to you...anyways...I never touched or count them before but I found them spread on the granit floor, I would have never notice them if I wasn't hanging my lucky glasses on his flowers arrangement...obviously I picked them up and put them back with the others...I sincerely hope it was the wind...I don't want to believe someone would go there to take home his offerings...that would be creepy and rude same time...

 in the 3rd day the scrf from the post box Angel was on loose,down over the fence so I tied in with several nodes not in the initial position was original tied but as I managed...finally in 4th day I start counting stuff on his grave cause of being paranoid by now, and nothing new was missing or in wrong place...I stood up again till late to watch over Nii-san and I fall asleep on the steps of his grave, as it was no one there yet. Some children voices woke me up, as they were coming to see HIDEKI Nii-san cheering up :) . I stood up greeting them happy as I saw their enthusiasm :) , they were such happy family,

it turns out the father was an artist he made some draws for Nii-san and wanted to leave them on his grave, but don't know why he changed his mind seeing Chiki's painting there. He considdered there were too many pictures on HIDE's grave and after making his children pictures with those drawings he took them back home...I guess they will comeback later on one day...the black towel you see on the fence is mine I used it to wash HIDEKI's grave as I didn't wanted to leave without cleaning up first.

In the 4th day I brought him a small tin of Brithish Earl Gray Tea and a tiny Pink teddy bear as I often dream we have drinks together (I did try at Rally pub his favorite Shandygap...it knock me out...so, sorry Nii-san but from now on till your Birthday, tea will do just fine! ) and I've meet at HIDEKI's grave another fan...Kazuhiro Tanaka, he writes editorials for a Tokyo local news paper, his topic are music reviews related so sometimes he gets to interview famous people like he interviewed Yoshikitty-mew-san :) . The guy is super friendly and helpful he tour guided me around all "hot spots" where HIDE was/is/will still be remembered. It is thank to him I found lots of memories left behind by Nii-san in the souls of those whom he was a "good friend" for...but I will tell you more about that in a future post :) . The 5th day was sadly the last one I got to spend it with Nii-san, I felt a knot in my stomach all morning and couldn't stop my tears, as the minutes went by becoming hours I counted them with sadness...than I collected all my straight and I cleaned HIDEKI's grave last time...who knows when I will be able to return...I felt such big sadness I can not put it into words...so I soaked his grave in cleaning products, water and...tears...lots of warm...salty tears... 

I DIDN'T HAVE TO DO IT...but I WANTED TO DO IT ! while I was cleaning I haven't even notticed Nii-san's parents were watching me from behind . Is cause they come in silence and I didn't even heard them.

I apologized for standing in the way so while they kneiled down to pray I gave their space, they thank me for keeping clean but I didn't found I did something extraordianary after all any of you would have done the same...wouldn't you ?.

As they left I continued cleaning and when I was done, I put back the chain closing the entrance, I prayed for last time and left toward the airport...In the big rush instead of throwing on the Ash garbage tank the incense ashes from HIDEKI's incense tray...I accidentally put it in my hand bag's pocket...

I was to find the small bag with incense ashes on the Abu Dhabi airport when I searched for chocolate in my handbag...now the ashes from Nii-san's grave have found a place in a pink incense cup beneath e of HIDEKI's photos in his corner of my bedroom

  Sugoi nee ???? Kakoi HIDEKI Nii-san :) :) :) Thank you minaa for reading this post, and thank you for returning to read other posts here on HIDEKI's blog as I call this page with love...it is here where I keep his memory unstained by nasty rumors and time gaps between generations and cultural boundaries. I hope you'll return to read more about Nii-san :) .